The Quarter Life Crisis

I have actually intended to update this blog for ages.. but today i thought.. if i don't start now, it will never going to happen! So, here I am,typing a post to my blog for the first time in this year... I'm not really talking about that quarter life crisis though i have a thought I'm having that right at this moment.. hahah!!

Well, you know, the weird thoughts, doings and changes from your past teen life that makes you wonder which is which that makes you wiser and looks matured. MATURED.. i never really like that word because it makes me pressured and felt that i need to limit myself. I guess i'm so just used to my happy go lucky styles and never thought whether my actions or saying is rather appropriate or not. I'm never going to limit myself though...

I have been wondering about all the decisions I've made these past years.. whether its important or not, did it actually affect and resulted what i am now? I mean.. what if my decisions were actually wrong? It actually should be the other way round? Or maybe i should actually express my thoughts to that person that offended him and he actually  end up hating me. And maybe the life plan that i have been altering and have almost postponed half of the plans were actually wrong? NO! No one could actually say that to me. It's my life we are talking about.. 

I am truly responsible to whatever i do. ALL decisions, ALL lies, ALL thoughts that been said, ALL doings..EVERYTHING!! Totally everything..( as you reading this u can imagine how this quarter life crisis is insane). But..

of all the things that I've done, said and thought, i must never declined that He, The Greatest, The One, who i must obey, worship and never have doubt to. He created us in such a beautiful way so we could actually be grateful and worship Him. But He also give us challenges and the lust that could lead us to forget Him whilst we are suppose to remember Him. He challenges us by making us pretty and ugly,  He challenges us by giving us wealth and also making us poor. He challenge us by making us sick, or even being the healthiest man on land. He challenge us by creating man and women, He also challenges us by giving us the brain. He brings down the challenge in every way just to test how devoted we are and the faith that we have towards Him. 

Sometimes we forgot, but some never forget. Sometimes we pretend to forget, and thought we could repent afterwards.. BUT, did He ever forget us? NO!! NEVER! He never fails to make sure we breathe, He never fails to give us food, He never fails to ensure all that we asked from Him will be granted. HE, never fails...

But, of all the things He never fails to give me, whether i ask for it or not, I do forget Him sometimes. For all wrongdoings, for all lies, for all other bad things that i did, for all the naughty thoughts.... that I sometimes blame Him for all that happens..... He never took away what ever He borrowed to me. He still let me breathe, He still let me live in this happy family, being with my love ones all the time, still lead a comfortable life.. not that rich but never fails to have foods, and how He always hear what i'm telling and ask from Him.

 Ya Allah.Tuhan Maha Pengampun, Kau ampunkan dosa2 ku, Kau ampunkanlah dosa ku, ampunkanlah dosa2ku,  dosa kedua ibu bapa ku, adik beradikku, saudara seMuslimku. aku, hambaMu yg lemah ini, terkadang alpa, namun tidak pernah lupa akan KekuasaanMu dan keEsaanMu, Ya Allah.

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi, aku bersyukur Kau panjang kan hayat ku sehingga hari ini, aku bersyukur aku masih berdiri di bumi ini dengan nyawa yg Kau pinjamkan ini untuk terus menjadi khalifahMu dan beriman kepadaMu.

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim, aku mohon supaya ditunjukkan ku jalan yg lurus, hindarkan aku dari malapetaka dan hasutan iblis dan syaitan yang Kau murkai Ya Allah.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan ku, kau lindungi lah diriku dari org2 yg berniat jahat terhadapku dan juga keluargaku Ya Allah.Kau pelihara lah kami supaya kami terus beriman ke jalan Mu, jalan yg lurus, Tetapkan iman kami, seteguh iman kekasihMu padaMu, Ya Allah.. 

Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan wa fil 'akhirati hasanatan waqina 'adhabanna  

wasalAllahu 'ala sayidina Muhammad wa 'ala alihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

Subhana rabbika Rabbi I'izzati amma yasifun, wa salamun ala I'lmursalina wal hamdulillahi Rabbi I'alamin..

Happy Birthday to me, wishing that i'll grow to become a better person and have more maturity towards dealing with this life. InsyaAllah...